ZumwaltOhana.com

Update and Tidbits

I wanted to give an update since I know many of you are wondering what is going on with our plans of moving to Portland.  Well, Zak is still waiting to hear back from the Navy.  It is truly open-ended since we have no time-line.  We don't know if we'll hear back tomorrow or next week, or in a month.  Yesterday he did get a verbal "yes" from his XO (with some strings attached!).  So, hopefully Zak can meet his demands quickly and get the XO to sign his request, then get his CO to sign the request, and then have them send it on to some big-whig on the mainland.  We don't know if that will be sent by ship, by mail, by fax or by email, so we don't know how long that will take.  Keep praying for us as we wait.  Right now our prayer is just that we will be content in whatever decision is made and continue to seek God's will for us wherever we may be.  It's exciting!  It's nice to know that it is completely out of our control and to have the peace that God IS in control.  Thank you for all of your prayers and concerns!  We are blessed to be so well supported!  Zak has really been blessed to have guys in his office who are pulling for him and helping to get the right people talking to each other.  I hope some day he will have time to sit down and write out the details of all of that for us.

Today Koa and I spent some time watching this lizard out on our lanai.  He was a very patient lizard and let us get pretty close to watch and talk to him.  As he sat there tilting his head side to side and looking at us, I whispered to Koa, "Where do you think he is going?"  Koa whispered back, "To the beach."  Of course.  Even lizards probably like the beach.

For some reason lately Koa has been asking us a very weird question, "Where you going, Sticky Rice?"  We have no idea where he got this, but I think he just likes the sound of it because he will just randomly say it over and over.  So, now it's just a catch-phrase for our house.  We will randomly ask each other, "Where you goin', Sticky Rice?"

This morning we had some serious drama before our day even started.  I was in the kitchen getting our breakfast together when Koa slipped and fell on our hardwood floor.  Somehow he knocked off a scab from a wound on his elbow that was notready to come off!  All of the sudden he was screaming and bleeding everywhere!  He had enough wherewithal to show me the scab on the floor ("My owie fell off!") but was not sure what to think of all the blood and DID NOT want me to touch his open wound.  I left to get a rag to clean up the mess and in the couple of seconds I was gone he had bled all over the floor.  I'm sure it was a scary sight for him although in the midst of it I was wondering why he would be traumatized by the sight of blood considering he has no idea what it really is.  A fear of blood can't be inherent, can it?

So, I got Koa cleaned up and tried not to touch his wound for a while, but he was still screaming like a banshee.  Finally I asked him if he was crying because he was still hurt or because he was still scared.  He said he was scared.  I assured him there was nothing to be afraid of and he and I looked at the blood while we talked about it for a minute and then he was fine.  He still didn't want me to put a band-aid on his elbow because then I had to touch it, but it was bleeding badly enough that it needed to be covered.  Fortunately I found a weird shaped band-aid in a medicine kit that I have had since college, I think, and it fit the spot on his elbow just right so we haven't had to deal with it much since.  Koa does want me to tell the story to anyone I am talking to on the phone, however!

I thought it was an interesting thing to happen because sometimes when we are having our little conversation about communion I tell him that the juice represents Jesus' blood.  I was pretty sure that meant nothing to him because he has only seen tiny drops of blood on his knees and hands until now.  However I thought it was interesting that he was inherently concerned about the blood he saw this morning.  It's probably equally interesting that I would even spend this much time contemplating this, right?

Kayak Adventure!

Today Koa and I decided to get out early and head to Hickam Beach for some kayaking with friends.  I haven't been kayaking since well before Koa was born so I had no idea how the adventure would go, but I thought we should give it a try. 

We were running late, and got to the beach a little before 10 AM only to find that they don't rent kayaks on Mondays.  So, when our friends arrived around 10:30 we decided to head to the other side of the island to the Kaneohe Bay marina to see if they were operating today.  They were, so we finally got in the water sometime around 11:30 (not so early anymore!) and headed across the bay.  The guys at the marina were so nice.  They even rigged up a little single paddle (from a broken one) for Koa to use.  Koa did awesome!  He sat in the boat so nicely the whole time.  He would use his paddle to help along the way or to splash me--which ever he thought was most fun at the time.  About half way to our destination I really started having trouble steering.  I could not get the boat to stay straight.  I knew Koa's extra weight would create a little drag, but I was really struggling to get to the beach and couldn't figure out why.  I decided I was just tired and way out of practice and the current was just kicking my tail.

When we got to the beach we played with some crabs and picked up treasures along the sand.  It is really rare to find whole shells on any beach in Hawaii.  It is pretty rare to even find small, recognizable pieces of shells, but we found whole piles of perfect shells and coral.  It was really cool!  When we got ready to leave we started to pick up my boat to put it back in the water and realized that it was half full of water!  No wonder I was having so much trouble!  So, we emptied it out and Koa decided to ride with Auntie Lisa on the way back.  At least that way I wouldn't have my extra weight, his extra weight and whatever water leaked in on the return trip.

On the way back, Lisa sang to Koa the whole way.  He thought that was great.  Until he started to get sleepy...  Since he was just kind of perched on a little seat and not down in the kayak he was very topsy-turvy.  If he fell asleep there was going to be a rude awakening!  So, Lisa kept splashing him with water from her paddle to keep him awake the rest of the way. 

Right before we paddled into the harbor, a boat must have had some kind of oil spill or something.  As I was approaching the pier, I noticed this awful smell and saw the oil slick on top of the water.  I looked over to Lisa to see if it was over by her, too, just in time to see Koa reaching for the colors in the water....and topple overboard!  I turned my kayak and headed toward them and watched her calmly scoop Koa back into the boat in front of her.  He took it like a champ.  He didn't cry, or even cough (so I guess he didn't swallow any oil!)  I had this picture in my mind that I was going to have to wash him down with Dawn dish detergent like they do with all the marine birds after an oil spill, but we just rinsed him off when we got to the pier and he was fine!  I couldn't believe he made it all the way across the bay and back without incident and then fell in the water in the dirty harbor!! 

By the time we got inside and turned in our boats it was almost 2:30!!  Koa's nap time is usually 12:30 to about 3:30.  Well, we missed that by a long shot.  We decided to stop and get something to eat since we were all starving and I had only brought a few snacks (thinking we would be home in time for lunch with our original plan).  We stopped at Subway and I ordered a foot long steak and cheese.  Koa ate almost half of it along with half a bag of chips and a piece of cookie that Lisa was nice enough to share with him!  I think he was hungry!  By the time we got home it was 4:20 and he had just barely gone to sleep in the car!  What a day!

Communion

Tonight I am writing to generate discussion, so please feel free to dive in on the comments! 

Zak recently finished a book on communion (and is currently in the middle of another one) that has sparked some discussion at our house and I would like to extend the discussion to our family and friends.  Apparently this book discusses the history, theological meaning, intentions, and evolution of the Lord's Supper.  It explores the different types of Levitical sacrifices/offerings and the feasts that followed some of those sacrifices.  It explains the nature of the Fellowship Offering (which the Passover is a type of and on which the Last Supper was based), explaining that it is a meal shared by the whole family and even the community -- a very inclusive affair (a la the dedication of the Temples, Christ eating with sinners, and the practices of the Acts 2 church) instead of the exclusive nibbling of tiny morsels that we practice today.  Finally the book reveals that the Lord's Supper was originally celebratory and not a solemn, individualistic affair as it is today.  So, the question we are asking in our family is:  Should communion include only those who have taken on Christ in baptism or should it be extended to those who have not, yet, made that particular commitment?  Is it a part of the training toward that commitment?  Can it be used an an evangelistic tool?  The long and short of it is, Zak asked me to think about letting Koa take communion with us on Sunday mornings.

Each Sunday when we are passing the communion trays we talk to Koa about why we do so.  We started with that very basic statement from so long ago before Koa went to sleep at night -- "Daddy loves you and Mommy loves you, but Jesus loves you the most."  Then we started asking him, "Who loves you the most?" so he could answer, "JESUS!"  When we started explaining communion to him we just tried to expand that little conversation to something like, "Remember who loves you the most?  Well, that is why we do this, so we remember him."  We encourage a little dialog about it without disturbing those around us too much.  We feel pretty strongly that communion is something to be shared with those around you (hence the name), but I know we are in the minority in our congregation, so we try to be mindful of that.

Lately when I share these things with Koa I have felt like it is very weird that I would share these important concepts with him, but then say, "But it's not for you.  It's just for Daddy and Mama."  That doesn't seem quite right to me.  Why can't Koa share in the celebratory family meal?  We don't exclude him from our annual Thanksgiving meal, so why exclude him from our weekly one?  I certainly don't want to make a decision like this based on what "feels" right.  I want it to be based on scripture and the spirit of the tradition. 

I haven't had the chance to read the book, yet, and have been searching all over for it for the past few days only to find out it is in Guam with Zak!  Ha!  (At least I didn't lose it!)  So please let us know what you think about all this, but be aware that I haven't actually read the book and Zak has it in Guam, so I may have to let him respond to some of your comments.  However, I do have my Bible, so feel free to make reference to that book!

Learning To Submit

I decided to journal some of my thoughts tonight because I am sure that this lesson is one I will be continuing to learn for many years to come and I will need to come back to it many times.  Maybe I will bookmark it and read it daily for a while and see if I get the point...

Yesterday I found myself at Starbucks with a group of moms from Stroller Strides.  Our class had been canceled due to rain, so we all headed to a Starbucks/Borders for socialization and refreshment.  I had specifically chosen to go because I have been trying to be more purposeful about being a light to this group of women.  I think God has placed me here for a reason and maybe I haven't been listening to His call to reach out to some of these ladies.  So, I thought I would do just that instead of proceeding with my day as planned. 

I'm sure when Starbucks workers see a whole group of women and children coming they are not ready to jump for joy, and I can tell you why.  This place turned into a virtual three ring circus!  I was absolutely in awe (as I sat there trying to drink my tea called "calming") as to what was acceptable behavior for these children.  I made a couple of feeble comments like, "Do you think you should move your child from the walk-way while he tears up that book that doesn't belong to him?" or "Do you think you should go find your one-year-old who is wandering through the bookstore by herself?" that went completely ignored.  I left there feeling disgusted and quite smug.  I won't say Koa was an angel by any means, but when he misbehaved he was promptly disciplined and returned to play nicely with his friends.

No, I am not here to criticize parenting techniques.  I'm here to say how ashamed I am of myself!  As I have continued to think about this situation for the next day or so I have been very upset at myself for being so judgmental and for being paralyzed by my judgment.  I was totally unable to help or encourage anyone because I was so focused on what I thought was wrong with the situation.  Then I started trying to reason through it and figure out how I could have done things differently--to no avail.  All it did was make me more ashamed as I scolded myself and made resolutions to work on my attitude.

Tonight in Bible study we were talking about Romans 8 in which Paul writes to the Christians in Rome about our release from condemnation of the law and of the life we live through the Spirit now that we have been released.  As we were reading it I kept coming back to verses 6-7.  "The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God.  It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so." 

When I am training Koa, I know how important it is for him to learn to submit.  I know that all the obedience training in the world is not going to do a bit of good if he is not first submissive.  Sometimes those are some long hard days and it requires a lot of diligence and sacrifice on my part to get to that point.  And now I know why God has given me this stubborn little boy--he's a spitting image of me as I relate to my Father. 

Yesterday I was trying to do it backwards--trying to lead with my mind.  The submission comes first--then my mind will be led by the Spirit and will be one of life and peace (instead of judgment and criticism).  All of my resolutions to change my attitude will do nothing without full submission!  And that will have to be a daily decision. 

I think the thing that absolutely hits me in the pit of the stomach is this:  I can teach Koa to submit all I want, but until I am willing to submit to God, the chain is broken and the ultimate goal of teaching him to submit to God is farther out of reach.  Please pray for me as I strive to submit and live with a mind controlled by the Spirit--daily--that I may be a better daughter, wife, mother, sister and friend.   

More Potty Talk

Sorry, Stimple, I know you would rather talk about more sophisticated things, but this is what I've got for you!

I realized a while back that I never posted about something that is apparently a very big deal in a little boy's life.  Koa can now stand to pee!  I don't know if this normally comes naturally for little boys, but for the longest time Koa would only go if there was a potty under him.  Now he will go outside or wherever which makes things a little easier and less disgusting when our only option is to hunt down a public restroom.  One day he even announced to me after using the potty that, "Boys stand!"  I have no idea where he got that, but I'm sure one of his adopted uncles has been indoctrinating him with proper boy behavior!

The other big development (which is probably more exciting to me than anyone else) is that he can now take off his pants by himself and go to the potty.  Conventional wisdom would say that you wait for that stage to even start potty training him but who wants to be conventional?  Yesterday he even went in and used the potty all by himself without telling me or being reminded.  That is only like the second time ever that he has done that, but I count it a small victory!  Can I also say to those of you with little girls that you need to count your blessings that you don't have to teach the skill of "pointing down"!  This is an important skill that has still not been entirely mastered by our little one, but I really look forward to the day it is!  So do my bathroom rugs, if they survive that long!

Right before Zak left for Guam Koa had started his six week cycle of really testing his boundaries and this was an especially rough one!!  It looked like there was no end in sight when Zak left, so I thought this was going to be a terrible week, but so far he has really turned the corner and is acting like his normal self again.  He definitely is missing Daddy and seems to be a little more sensitive to stuff (getting his feelings hurt over little things), but he is being pretty obedient and generally fun to be around again.

Zak made it safely to Guam and we have been able to web cam with him twice already.  That seems to make him seem not so far away.  Koa asks if he is home every time we come home and points out that his truck is here.  Today, as we were walking, in I told him that Daddy was in the computer because I knew we were probably going to get to Skype with him when we got in the house.  He thought I meant Daddy was on the computer, so he ran to Zak's desk and said, "Where's Daddy?"  I turned on my computer and said, "No, Daddy is in the computer!"  He said, "Where's Daddy's top?" (laptop) and got very upset.  I thought I was helping, but I guess that was a cruel joke to him!

Guam is a day ahead of us, so Zak was getting ready to go to church this morning when we Skyped with him.  Since he has been there about a bazillion times he knows the little church there pretty well, but the last time he was there was about three years ago (that is so hard to believe it has been that long!).  So, I will be curious to hear if any of the same people are there.  The former preacher there went to school with Zak's granddad.  Everybody knows a Zumwalt!

To give you an update on me, I'm 14 weeks along and have been feeling much better!  Most days I still have an insatiable appetite and I get headaches pretty easily if I don't eat plenty, so I keep lots of snacks with us, but at least I am not getting nauseous any more.  My belly is definitely getting bigger faster this time.  I already look like I did at five months last time, but I guess that is just the way it goes with second babies!  We played Ultimate Frisbee tonight and I could really feel a difference this week.  We didn't play last week, but the weeks before that I felt more tired and I would have to rest a little more between plays, but today I could really tell I was much slower.  The guy I was guarding had it pretty easy!  Boy, pregnancy is hard on my pride!   

I can already feel the baby moving occasionally.  With Koa I felt him much earlier than they said I would, but this seems really early to me.  I started feeling this wee one at twelve weeks!  I guess once you know that feeling it's hard to ignore!  It's pretty cool!  It makes me very conscious of the miracle that is going on inside me.

This baby has certainly high jacked my brain.  I have had so many ridiculous moments of "pregnancy brain" that I don't even know if I could sum them up but here are a few that stand out in my mind: 

• One day I went to teach Stroller Strides and forgot my socks.  The next day I forgot my shoes.  I had to teach class in slippers.
• I was leading an exercise at Stroller Strides near the four baseball fields that I have always referred to as the "quad area" and for some reason that day I decided to count the fields and came to the conclusion that there were five fields.  I launched into this explanation of why I had always called it the "quad area" because I thought there were only four fields and I felt so silly to realize that there were five fields.  One of the girls stopped me and said, "Kathy, there are only four fields!"
• The other day I went to make coffee and put the coffee grounds where the water should go!

Ahh, the things motherhood does to you!!  One more sweet little thing...last night Koa and I had already said prayers and he was ready to go to bed and as I was walking out of the room he asked if we could pray for the baby!  Tonight he remembered to mention the baby in the first prayer.  Ahh, the things motherhood does for you. 

Saturday...Or Is It Thursday?

Zak had to leave for Guam this afternoon to teach a two week class.  I know I've gotten spoiled with shore duty because two weeks seems like such a long time!!  He's just missing the opportunity to take some cheer over to poor Dave Lewis who finally escaped from there.  (And now I feel even more guilty for my "two week" comment!)  I hope Zak doesn't have to rely on the Air Force for his return travel!! 

Since he didn't have to "leave for work" until this afternoon today has felt like Saturday all day long.  Koa and I canceled all of our normal Thursday activities and we slept in (as much as we could with a two year old in the "boo bed" with us).  Then we got up and had biscuits (with chokecherry jelly), eggs and turkey bacon and lilikoi juice for a leisurely breakfast.  It just felt like a Saturday--although even our Saturdays haven't been that leisurely in a while...(but it was a good reminder that making biscuits is not my spiritual gift!)

When we dropped Zak off at the airport it was an emotional time.  Poor Koa just cried his little eyes out!  I couldn't believe it, but I think he really knew what was going on.  He kept saying, "I want Daddy!" much of the way home!  I started thinking, "Maybe I should take him to get some ice cream or something."  I couldn't believe I even thought that!  I don't teach my child to nurse his wounds with food!  Don't worry, I snapped out of it.  We didn't get ice cream.  I'm now suspicious that I was just projecting my cravings because later in the day I was babysitting for a friend and it was about time for snack and I started thinking, "Maybe they need some ice cream!"  These poor kids.  Who will protect them from me?

Just before we took Zak to the airport we got a call from a friend saying that she just got word her husband's vehicle had been hit by a Rocket Propelled Grenade in Iraq.  We set the prayer chain in motion and praise God, He has answered many prayers today!  Shane came through surgery much better than was expected and it appears he will make a full recovery.  Koa and I went to visit his family and we took two of the three kids to the park for the afternoon so Hazel could have some time to digest the information she was being given.  What a great opportunity for Koa and me.  Please pray for Shane and his family as he continues to recover!  God is good all the time!