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New Pictures

New pictures of Caspian have been posted here along with new pictures of our blossoming garden.  If you've been wondering why we haven't posted any new movies in forever, it's because Zak's laptop has finally gotten to the point that it can't run anything other than word documents before it bogs down!  So, when his new laptop arrives he'll begin working on publishing the hundreds of movies we have waiting to be edited.  Someday you'll get to see them.  Stay close!

One More Anniversary

I'm (Zak) embarassed I missed an anniversary a couple days ago.  I have been planning on marking Monday, May 4th for quite a while, and then the day came and went and I totally forgot about it until now.  Two days ago was supposed to be my last day in the Navy!  Back in 1999 I enlisted for 6 years, and then in year 5 of that original enlistment I reenlisted for 4 more years.  May 4th was intended to be my last day.  That's the date on all my paperwork, our base stickers, and the expiration date on our military IDs.  From July of last to year until Monday I should have still been wearing my uniform, saluting, shaving, and dealing with sailors.

I wanted to mark May 4th so I could look back at everything that's happened from the time I really did get out of the Navy to the time I should have gotten out.  It's been an amazing 10 months!  During all this time that I should have still be in, we have moved to Portland (as non-military a place as you can find!), became ministers at a church, had another kid, finished almost an entire year of grad school (just 3 days shy), and even got commissioned as an officer back into the Navy!  What a huge difference this time has been.

I can't help but wonder how many things would be different if I hadn't been released early and I did just get out of the Navy on Monday.  Would everthing happen exactly the same way as it has, just 10 months later?  Or would things be totally different?  Obviously it's impossible to know, but we do know that God has been doing some amazing things in our lives these past 10 months.  What an interesting journey.

So, so long (again) Navy!  See you in a couple years.

A Very Happy Six Months

Today we celebrate the first six months with our sweet little Caspian.  What a joy it has been!  I'll admit that raising two is harder than I thought it would be.  It's just busy.  And tiring!  There's no way around it as far as I can see, but it helps to remember that this season doesn't last forever.  It also helps to just sit down and cuddle one or both of the little sweeties who keep me so busy.  It's best to close my eyes when doing so--so as not to see all of the things that remain unfinished around me.  I tell myself that one day the mountain of laundry will be conquered--just not today.  And one day all of the floors will be clean at the same time--just not today.  Some days it is just overwhelming.  But it helps to remember why I am overwhelmed and just celebrate the family that makes it so.  And today we get to celebrate Caspian!

When we brought him home from the birth center I was just convinced that he was going to be the mellow baby who reached all of his motor skills much later than Koa (who was on the front end of the curve for everything physical!)  So far, I am completely wrong about that.  He rolled over at six weeks, he's been sitting up quite steadily for a couple of weeks now and he is already trying to crawl!  I think maybe having an older brother just spurs him on to learn all of these things.  He crawls the same way Koa did.  Pushing with his forehead and his knees he can make it a pretty good distance.  However, he usually only does this when he is in his bed and can't decide if he wants to wake up or go back to sleep.  He goes from one end of the crib to the other a couple of times a night and at least once at each nap.  (He's got quite the receding hairline because of it, too.) When he's wide awake he will get up on all fours like he knows what to do, but then when he sees something he wants to move towards he falls to his belly and flails his arms and legs out of frustration because he can't seem to coordinate the right movements for true mobility.  It's hilarious to watch.

As I have mentioned before, Caspian is much less expressive than Koa.  He makes us work a lot harder for his smiles and when they come, they are much more subtle--and so very adorable!  Because of this, I thought he was going to be much less social than Koa.  Not true.  Caspian seems to love to be around people just as much as his big brother!  He will hang out with anyone who wants to hold him.  Today at church it was time for him to eat and I would have thought he was starving to death the way he was acting.  So, I got my cover out and started to feed him and he ate for about three minutes and then refused to be covered any longer!  He could hear there were people around and he wanted to be part of the action.  He was completely content with his little three minute snack until we left the building and were by ourselves again--then he decided he would like to eat again.  Please.  Now!

He is certainly becoming more aware of those around him and we can tell that he understands us when we say some things to him.  I remember being so fascinated by this stage with Koa and it is no less amazing watching those thoughts emerge with Caspian.  He knows and loves to hear his own name, but almost equally he loves when we talk about Koa.  As soon as we mention Koa, Caspian will start to look around for him.  Sometimes if Koa is gone for a while Caspian will start to scan the room for him even if we don't mention his name.  And when I put him in his bed, he immediately looks over towards Koa's bed to see if Koa is there before he lays his head down.  It's fun to see his little face light up when he sees his daddy and he will start to kick his feet and make sweet little noises if someone else is holding him and I walk up to them.

Now that he is becoming more mobile, I think his adorable little cheeks are starting to shrink!  He's about the age when Koa started to slim up, too.  So, I think I better spend a lot of time getting some extra kisses in on those sweet little cheeks!  Thankfully his rolly polly thighs seem to be hangin' around in spite of his adoration of the Johnny Jump Up!  He loves that thing!  When we get it out and hang it up he becomes completely mesmerized and we can no longer get him to focus his attention on anything else. 

If there is anything he loves more than his jumper, it's his thumb!  This child makes thumb-sucking an art form.  He likes to hold on to something while he sucks his thumb.  So, he may hold someone else's hand or a toy or a blanket while he goes to town on his thumb.  His latest maneuver looks like he is pretending to play the trumpet as he is holding his right hand and waving it in the air while sucking his left thumb.  I got a video of it so we will try to post that soon.

I have to update about his tummy.  He is doing so much better now.  It has been a long road (well, almost six months) of trying to solve his tummy troubles, but it seems that we have at least found what works.  I have taken dairy completely out of my diet--butter and all.  This was a very difficult transition for me and something I was hesitant to give up completely, but it wasn't until I did that he really started to improve.  Also, the thing that has made the biggest difference, is supplementing with probiotics for both him and me.  I break open a caplet and give him a small amount on my finger and I take the adult dose.  Then I also drink copious amounts of kefir.  This seems to keep his tummy pretty calm (little to no spitting up) and keeps him pretty regular. 

With a happier tummy comes a happier baby and that makes for a happier family all around!  He has gone back to eating once in the middle of the night which is not my favorite thing and I hope he will give up that feeding again soon.  As it is, he keeps campaigning for an earlier bed time.  I think he would sleep from about 7 PM on if I would let him, but there is just no way we could have him in bed by 7 every evening, so for the sake of consistency he will have to continue the 9-10 bed time.  Unlike the rest of the men in the household he is an early riser and loves to play first thing in the morning.  That has started to cramp my Bible study time which I am not happy about, but it is nice to have time to hang out in the morning with just Caspian.

There's lots to love about this sweet little boy and I look forward to seeing how much he will change and grow over the next 182.5 days.

Anonymous Observations (Part I)

When Kathy and I became the Recovery Ministers at Agape, we began working in an area of which we had no knowledge or experience.  We minister to people who are working through their addictions to alcohol, drugs, or sex, or have been abused by their spouses or family members.  Neither of us have ever struggled with any of these issues, however.  So, about 7 months ago when we came on staff we began buying as many books as we could, attending training sessions, and meeting with and talking to people who struggle with these issues to gain a better understanding.  While I have not had the chance to read all the books I now have on my shelves because of school, I intend on getting through all of them during Summer break!  However, without having read a single word, I can already say that whatever I get out of those readings will still fall short of experiencing first hand the struggles that our people are going through.

I decided a couple months ago that if I couldn't actually be addicted or abused, the next best thing was to attend support group meetings to hear people's stories and witness how the secular world (very successfully) helps the addicted and abused.  So, during Spring Break I nervously went downtown to the Alano Club where various support groups meet every day.  The Alano Club is a beautiful Victorian mini-mansion with a grand staircase, working kitchen, basement, loft, and about 10 rooms, each with names like The Study, The Clock Room, The Board Room, etc.  Every room is magnificently decorated with couches, fireplaces, mantles, chairs, art, bookshelves, grandfather clocks, and windows overlooking downtown.  What struck me by this place is the dignity it provides its visitors.  We weren't relegated to a dark, windowless basement or the creepy backroom of some shop.  These people, from the moment they walk in the building, are treated like...people!  Not the dregs of society.  Right off the bat we were treated with dignity.  As anyone else.  As normal.  I was told by people there that the Alano Club is the nicest recovery center on the entire west coast.  In fact, I met one couple who had moved to Portland and even within walking distance of the place just so they could regularly attend!

On one day I sat in on a NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting from 3:00-4:00, an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting from 5:30-6:30, and an SAA (Sexual Addicts Anonymous) meeting from 7:00-8:00.  I picked these groups and times because these were open meetings, so "observers" were allowed to visit when normally they wouldn't be allowed to.  I guess that means that the members of the groups weren't as open and honest (or detailed!) with me there as they usually are when the meetings are closed. 

The first thing I noticed as I walked into these meetings were the people.  How could I not - they were incredibly friendly and welcoming!  Before the meetings had even started I had already been met by a handful of people and had been offered a chair to sit in.  One person I met (Paul) not only introduced himself to me, shook my hand, and welcomed me to the AA meeting, but 2 days later when I attended another 3 meetings at the Alano Club he saw me from across the parking lot, yelled out my name (he remembered my name!) and came up to me to chat.

The attendees were as diverse as you can imagine, but with no apparent divisions among them.  There were some who were still wearing their suits and ties (they had come straight from work) and some who were obviously living out in the streets.  There were some who were probably grandparents and others who were still teenagers.  There were men and women, whites, blacks, Hispanics, and Russians.  Yet they had conversations with each other, spoke the same language, and acted respectfully towards one another.  The third tradition of AA says, "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking."  These people lived that way.

To Be Continued...